Thursday Rant

Life has been so hectic these past couple of weeks. I've had so many deadlines and so many exams that I've been soooo overwhelmed. =( In fact, I have a pretty hectic weekend ahead of me. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do anything because I can't seem to get anything done at home. Not to mention, I can't even get myself to leave the house on the weekends to go to the library.

When the weekends come, I just want to spend time with my family but usually that involves cleaning and other various chores. I feel like that is all we do on Saturdays. We never go out to any fun place, such as the city, to just hang out as a family. I'd really like to squeeze in one family outing before Moharrum comes and the cold hits. But I do have to say, after a week filled with classes, its nice to be able to sleep in on the weekends. And by sleep in I mean 9 or 10 am. Yeah its not really "sleeping in," but those 2 extra hours that I get on the weekend are so precious to me.

Lately, I've been feeling really guilty about my nutritional intake (random, I know...). Simply put, I've been eating really bad foods. I really need to get back to my fruits and vegetables, but with being so busy, I haven't had time to really plan out my eating schedule. It makes me really mad because I was doing so well at the beginning and I could feel myself losing weight. I didn't realize that one slip would lead to my completely quitting Weight Watchers. =( Oh well...there is no one to blame except myself. My plan is to get back on track once school is over. I think the winter and the spring semester should be a bit more relaxing since I won't be pressured with a million different classes.

So I did the most random thing the other day: I went back and read my old xanga posts. Xanga was so awesome back in the day. I used to love reading people's blogs because they were real. Not that people nowadays are fake but I just feel like people don't have as much time to blog about their daily lives. I used to write about my problems and people would get back to me with advice. I mean, now that I think about it, my problems as a 15 year old were so ridiculous, but to know that people cared made me feel so good.

I just think that nowadays people have lost their etiquette when it comes to caring about people. Everyone just wants to do their own thing. No one takes out the time to simply ask their friends how life is going. I myself am guilty of this but I try to make an effort to keep in touch with my good friends. What really upsets me is that those friends don't always return that gesture of kindness. I'm sorry to say this, but it is so pathetic. Even a simply text to ask how things are going would suffice as I understand we all have busy schedules but I guess not everyone sees it this way. Like I said, the word "etiquette" has simply lost its meaning or perhaps the meaning has changed...I don't know.

Anyway, that is all for now. I have class at 4:30 and I'm dreading the walk in the cold from the library to the building where my class is. I like the cold because I like wearing coats and scarves and gloves and drinking coffee and hot chocolate, but I forgot my scarf (scarf as in neck scarf, not hijab :-P) today so the wind is just hitting my neck. This scares me because the last time my chest was exposed to the cold, I caught a really bad cold with a cough, not to mention how I'm *still* recovering from my cold and my cough...

Happy Early Friday!

-Sabah

Rainy Thursday

Its Thursday and I am feeling so BLAH because the weather is just so BLAH. I seriously think I have some form of seasonal depression because when the sun is not out, I feel so lethargic! Not to mention, how much I hate getting wet. I know that when it rains the doors of heaven open so its the best time to make dua, but somehow, its not convincing enough to become friends with the rain. But, subhanallah for rain because if there was no rain, there would be no life. I just wish it could rain with the sun out :-P

I have finally gotten back on my points system. One of my favorite things to eat is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I've been on a lookout for a peanut butter than doesn't have 5 pts+ in 1 tablespoon. When I looked high and low and could not find one of the sort, I finally gave up. However, yesterday when I went to Trader Joe's, I found something called "Better'n Peanut Butter." At first I was a bit skeptical about it and thought it was one of those "I can't believe its not butter" type tricks. But to my surprise, I LOVED IT!!! It has become one of my guilty pleasures with only 2 points+ for 2 tablespoons. Its so rich and creamy that I think I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

I also bought mango butter. When I tried it plain, I was a little disappointed because it didn't taste too good. But I put it on top of the peanut butter and it was scrumptious! My plan for this morning's breakfast was to have two slices of whole wheat bread with peanut butter and mango butter topped with bananas, but I woke up too late to even eat breakfast. I had to resort to my usual grab-n-go breakfast: boiled eggs. Eggs and I have a strange relationship. I've gone through phases where I love eggs and then stages where I can't even stand to look at them. But ever since I got on Weight Watchers, I have found eggs to be the best breakfast food because I can have 2 eggs for 4 pts+ and  stay full till about lunch time. The only complaint I have today is that because I woke up late, I had eggs for breakfast and now I'm going to have an egg salad sandwich for lunch... Too many eggs in one day. I might have to take a break before I get sick of eating eggs ...

Next week is going to be a beyond-crazy week. I have an exam on Monday, 2 exams on Tuesday, an exam on Thursday, and a paper due on Friday. I'm not sure how I'm going to study for all of these exams because I've never had so many in a week my whole time here at UMBC. I'm easily distracted by a simple fly on the wall so my plan is to find a corner in the library tomorrow and Saturday and just study all day. Its the only way because I can't get anything done at home. But since I will be here pretty much all day tomorrow and Saturday, I need to pack food! Food is always my concern because campus food sucks and the healthy foods are sooooo expensive. Because I am unemployed, I'd rather spend my money on doing fun things with my friends rather than spending it on nasty campus food, thus I always have to pack food and make sure I have plenty in case I get extra hungry during my study session.

I just have to say that I really do like the Weight Watchers Recipes but some of them are too hard to make and as a beginner cooker, I don't trust myself enough to make a complicated dish. My favorite website has become www.skinnytaste.com. She has some really easy recipes that also look delicious and fit into my daily points+ program! I saw this on her website and I'm thinking of making it for tomorrow's lunch:

I doubt mine is going to look as scrumptious as that, but I will certainly take a picture of the finished product. I found the the egg salad recipe, that is for today's lunch, on her website as well and its pretty good! Gina has made me realized how much I don't care about egg yolks :-P 

Arright, enough food talk. I think its time to go get some studying done and perhaps some lunch. 

Happy early Friday everyone! =)

-Sabah

Jersey-bound Weekend

It has been a long, yet fun-filled weekend! I had a list of chores in my previous post that I had less than 24 hours to do, and guess what? I did everything! I have a clean room, a clean bathroom, a clean closet, and clean clothes!!! YAY! It may not seem like such a big deal but I've turned into one of those clean freaks. It kind of reminds me of that Full House episode where Danny is so obsessed with cleaning, he even cleans the vacuum itself! Kind of reminds me of my grandmother. She has to be the cleanest person in the world. I have to say that she is almost as bad as Danny Tanner...

We spent pretty much the whole evening in New Jersey. Its nice to see your family from time to time, especially the family you haven't seen in months. I have to say that my favorite part of the whole trip was seeing all the little kids! Of course I missed my four favorite girls who couldn't make it to the function, but who says you can't have more than three favorites? ;-) Seeing all those little children made me realize how much I'd love to be a toddler again. Just think about it: you can basically sleep when you want, wake up when you want, play with toys, draw, and color all day long! Now that is the life! How I'd love to be 3 again! 

Moving on, we left NJ around 12:45 am! Like typical Desis, it takes like a good hour just to say your farewells to everyone. We didn't get home till 4:15 (my mom is a slow driver -_-) and I didn't sleep until close to 5 am. And then of course, good ol' Sunday school in the morning. I was the reason we had to come back home last night. Today was my students' midterm exam and I was afraid that the test would be too hard and they would all fail. When I sat down to grade the exams, the first exam was just really depressing. I went through the pile and pulled a smart student's exam because I just felt so bad about that poor girl's miserable grade. To my surprise, only 3 students miserably failed, 1 student got a C, and the rest got either 100% or more (I was generous and gave extra credit :-P)!!! I also bought them munchkins from Dunkin Donuts and offered them an extra credit worksheet (Yes, I offer a lot of extra credit. I bet you'd want to be my student too :-P). I got home from Sunday school around 4 pm, and I just crashed. I was sooooo tired. I'm not really sure how I functioned throughout the day. It was probably the coffee from DD that helped me. 

I have a feeling that this week is going to drag. But I'm more concerned about next week because I have 3 exams, plus papers. Looks like I'll be spending all day Friday and all day Saturday at the library.  I also need to find an internship for next semester. I've emailed a few people at HHS and they have not gotten back to me, which is really annoying because I emailed them weeks ago! Lets hope that I find something in the next month or so. The scary part is that there are really only 2 months left of school and I need to find one before December. At least I'm not procrastinating and waiting until December to find a position :-P.

Anyway, its 12:03 am, got lots of work to do in the next hour and a half (I've also noticed that I work best at night...), so I bid you all farewell, except I will not take an hour to do it :-P

Take care, all!

-Sabah

Bummed & Stressed

Hello, and Happy Friday everyone!!! Hoping that everyone is well and is enjoying this beautiful weather! :-)

So I'm actually really bummed about something. As many of you know, I started Weight Watchers back in August. I was really excited because I had read a lot of great reviews about it and I really believed that I finally found something that would work. The first week was basically trying out the program, counting the points to foods I normally eat, and checking out recipes so that I could start cooking my own food.

Then during the second week, I actually started recording my food and points and I was sticking to my 29 points a day. That week was very hard though because I was eating all the wrong foods. I was getting really frustrated because I felt like I was ALWAYS hungry. I almost wanted to give up, but I kept pushing myself. The third week came and it wasn't so bad because I felt like I had gotten the hang of it...and I had lost 5 pounds!!! I finally was confident that this program works if you give it your best shot.

But lately, I haven't been counting my points, I've been eating a lot of junk food (I felt really sick yesterday after eating a whole bunch of Combos...), and I've just been neglecting all the healthy habits that I picked up while religiously following Weight Watchers. I guess its just the whole "trying to find time to cook" mentality that is really getting me worked up. Also, I've been getting bored with just eating pasta for lunch since that is the most convenient lunch I can bring to school. I'm not a big cooker. I'm a baker. Baker of cakes and cupcakes, not chicken and casseroles. I'm feeling frustrated to the point where I want to just give up the program once and for all but I know it works, because I can feel the difference.

To add to my anguish, the past week was just horrible because I had so many things due that I just didn't pay attention to the week before. I was stressed out and was cramming to get things done. If there is anything I've learned this semester, it is that cortisol can be your friend and your enemy. I'm not trying to get high blood pressure or gain more weight because I'm always stressed out. I need to find a hobby, an outlet, some sort of distraction. We know that exercise is the best thing for stress but finding the time to exercise really stresses me out! :-P So we know that's not going to cut it. All in all, I just want to completely turn my life around but I need to believe in myself.

I really need to sit down and figure out a schedule for myself, this includes exercising, relaxing, studying, and socializing. I finally quit the Gap, which has really eased the tension I used to feel when the weekend would creep up on me. I'm going to miss it, but it is just something I had to do. My dad told me not to worry because Allah will bless me with something better. Leave it to my dad to make me feel better :-) Oh how I love him <3

Anyway, that is all for now. I have a busy day ahead of me, as well as a busy busy weekend. My to-do list of chores is as follows:

-Clean my room
-Clean my bathroom
-Clean my closet
-Clean my desk
-Vacuum my room
-Do my laundry

I have less than 24 hours to do all of this. Lets see how much I actually get done! More stress!!! :-P